Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Amazon.com Review

Here is an example of an incorrect use of xanthan gum, found on Amazon.com. Factual or not, I can't say. I've had xanthan gum dust on my hands, when my hands got wet. I can't even imagine having a spoonful in my mouth.

3 of 6 people found the following review helpful: Really thick stuff, May 8, 2006
Reviewer:

viktor_57 "viktor_57" (Fairview, Your Favorite State, USA) - See all my reviewsMy kid was upset when I got him an improvised Harry Potter broom for Christmas--O.K., it wasn't an officially licensed product, but since magic brooms are imaginary anyway, any stick with a bunch of straw at one end is as good as any other. But no--apparently a Corn Lobby Broom wasn't good enough for him. Anyway, he wouldn't talk to me for a month, which was good at first, but then got really annoying. For my kid's birthday I decided to get him something really special, so I got him this bag of xanthan gum. I even wrapped it up real nice with wrapping paper and ribbon. My kid opened his present and couldn't figure out what it was. "It's xanthan gum," I told him, "It's gum from outer space. From the planet Xanthan." My kid was busy staring at the label. "No it's not," he slowly replied, and then he began to read, "'Xanthan is made from the outer layer of a tiny, inactive bacterium called Xanthomonas campestris..." "From the planet Xanthan!" I interrupted. Since when did my kid learn to read? I grabbed the bag and opened it. "Here," I stuck a spoon into the white powder, "Try some. It's really good." My kid picked up the spoon and smelled the white powder. "Go on," I said, "you'll really like it!" He hesitated, and then stuck his tongue into the powder. I was starting to get impatient, so I grabbed the spoon from him, "Give it to me, you big chicken," and then I swallowed the powder. The stuff dissolved into a thick, slimy paste in my mouth, but I smiled as I chewed it, "Mmmmm... this is the tastiest xanthan gum in the whole universe!" My kid looked at me as if I were lying. "If you like it so much, then you can have it," he said. "Fine," I replied, "it's too good for you anyway." I figured a little reverse psychology would do the trick. My kid's expression didn't change. "Can I go now?" he asked. "Yeah, fine, get out here," I said. Now I'm stuck with half a pound of xanthan gum and I don't know anyone with wheat allergies or celiac disease I can give this stuff to. Stupid kid.

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